reality

Reality has hit and it has hit hard. Yesterday was not the typical first day of school. Shortly after the kids left I had to delivery birthday snack, run an errand for a few more gifts, cover lunch/recess duty and not even 30 minutes after getting home from that A. was off the bus and walking down the driveway.

Today is reality. Today I get my haircut with no worries. No dragging kids along to sit and complain while my tresses fall to the ground. No worrying whether or not I'll be back in time for the bus. Today, for the next 6 hours it is me and me alone.

A. got on the bus for the first time back in 2002. I was pregnant and huge with E. and L.. R. was only 2. It was a big day. My husband stayed home to make sure A. actually got on the bus. I had fears that he wouldn't get on alone. After all, my mom rode the bus with me on my first day of K. I'm sure my oldest would need me just as much.

He didn't. The bus pulled up and off he went. I cried. He waved and laughed.

Every year since then would turn out to be the same. Me in tears, them waving and laughing.

I look forward to the bus pulling up to the driveway every afternoon. I love hearing their stories about their new friends, their teachers, how lunch was, how they missed me. I look forward to that today. But in the meantime I will take my new reality and go eat breakfast. By myself. No sharing. No interuptions. Just me and my bowl of Lucky Charms. Maybe after that I'll take a shower. No little girl sitting on the edge of the tub trying to have a conversation with me about how your hair grows, how people get fat, and if she'll ever have "buubs". Just me. ALONE.