As an adult I have never lost a friend.
I've never had to look a man in the eye that had just lost the love of his life.
I've never had to hold the hands of two little people who's world had been changed in ways they barely understood.
Until this month.
My friend died. I'd say she died of cancer but that would mean that the cancer won and it didn't. It didn't take her spirit, it didn't take the laughter, it didn't take hope, love, dreams or anything else that makes life. It didn't win because it didn't drag us apart. It instead brought us closer together.
The lessons she taught us, the lessons she taught her family, the 17 years she blessed this earth after cancer lost the first time are all miracles we will have forever. The two little people she helped bring into our lives will forever remind us of her, our love for her and the lessons she gave us.
Live....Laugh....Love.
God speed my friend....god speed.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
First Impressions
I am overweight (not by a lot but according to all the "official" people I am).
I dress conservatively.
Despite being overweight I take the time to care about my appearance.
I like my hair to be done, my make up put on and to be dressed for the occasion every day.
Why am I mentioning this? Because for once, despite what I have always said, I have realized how quickly first impressions are made.
I went on a cruise out of Miami. A cruise that would be considered inexpensive to those that live within driving distance to the port. A three day getaway with an all you can eat feast, bars, entertainment and sun!
Seriously, what an interesting group of people on board. I was SHOCKED at how many of them dressed. SHORT skirts that barely covered their behinds, bikinis that showed so much they had to "tuck themselves" back in when they got up, pants that barely buttoned, shirts with so much cleavage it almost seemed like the shirt itself was an after thought.
Although I personally don't like to "show my stuff" I've never really minded when others do. Hey, its their body, they can do what they want with it. But these crossed the line. An over weight woman can find flattering clothes if she wants to and even if she can't she can certainly find clothes that fit. I felt like I had walked into High School where everyone was out to show what they've got and I wanted to be the principal who would enforce some sort of dress code.
My first impression wasn't good. The thought of "paid escort" ran through my head more times than I care to count. I just wonder if they know what their first impression was.
Now I have a good example when I tell my kids how important first impressions are. And I also know not to take my kids on a "short, inexpensive cruise out of Miami" (or most likely any other cruise port near a large city).
I dress conservatively.
Despite being overweight I take the time to care about my appearance.
I like my hair to be done, my make up put on and to be dressed for the occasion every day.
Why am I mentioning this? Because for once, despite what I have always said, I have realized how quickly first impressions are made.
I went on a cruise out of Miami. A cruise that would be considered inexpensive to those that live within driving distance to the port. A three day getaway with an all you can eat feast, bars, entertainment and sun!
Seriously, what an interesting group of people on board. I was SHOCKED at how many of them dressed. SHORT skirts that barely covered their behinds, bikinis that showed so much they had to "tuck themselves" back in when they got up, pants that barely buttoned, shirts with so much cleavage it almost seemed like the shirt itself was an after thought.
Although I personally don't like to "show my stuff" I've never really minded when others do. Hey, its their body, they can do what they want with it. But these crossed the line. An over weight woman can find flattering clothes if she wants to and even if she can't she can certainly find clothes that fit. I felt like I had walked into High School where everyone was out to show what they've got and I wanted to be the principal who would enforce some sort of dress code.
My first impression wasn't good. The thought of "paid escort" ran through my head more times than I care to count. I just wonder if they know what their first impression was.
Now I have a good example when I tell my kids how important first impressions are. And I also know not to take my kids on a "short, inexpensive cruise out of Miami" (or most likely any other cruise port near a large city).
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Overloaded Christmas
Many of us are guilty of overloading our kids with Christmas presents. The money that goes out the window can be overwhelming once tallied up. I want to change it but I knew I couldn't do it "cold turkey" so I started small.
I didn't encourage lists to Santa. Instead I listened when they said they "wanted" something. I made notes and did research. The first step in getting Christmas "un"overloaded was to ONLY buy things they would use. As cute as those ZhuZhu pets are, and as many times as I heard "I want one", I knew it would be played with for 30 minutes and never touched again. Out also went the big shopping trip Chris and I would do that would yield 90% of the gifts in one night. Those tended to be impulse buys and many rarely got touched.
So I got myself a membership to Amazon Prime (honestly one of the best purchases I've made all year!). When the kids would go to bed I would research and shop. They love crafts so 3 got Shrinky Dinks. They love playing outside so all 4 got roller blades. We love playing games so all 5 (including Chris) each got a game. Work boots, color your own unbrellas, mp3 speakers, clothes and many more practical things made their way under our tree. Their stockings were filled with inexpensive "fun" items (like the funny head that grows grass hair...$1 at Michaels) plus stuff that I would have bought anyway (stretchy gloves, hats, toothbrushes).
As I put stuff away after the kids went back to school I realized how successful we were. Only one item hadn't been opened and that was because he needed help with the directions and we thought it would be nice to do on a snow day.
So we are partly "unloaded". Next year we want to focus on the extended family. We got sucked into the $100 grab again this year where we pull a name and spent $100 on that person. Everyone puts together a wish list and sends it out. We always struggle to put things on our wish list. We have always been fortunate enough that if we need something we just go out and buy it so our lists are usually very short and on occassion contain random items just so we have a list. And the lists we get usually aren't all that different. Many are just wish lists for gift cards. Yes, we are free to buy what we want and ignore the list but rarely does that happen.
So I have made a decision.....If I do opt to do the grab next year my wish list will contain things like "vaccines for 10 children", a "flock of chickens", a donation to XYZ charity etc. I think it might be worth the $100 I'd have to spend on a relative just to be able to send out my email that sends a different message than "I want". I may also decide not to participate but will try and find a way to show people that there are so many better options for their $100!
I think that will also be my focus next year with my kids. Moving things away from "them" and turning it to "others". A flock of chickens for one, honey bees for the next, dairy animals for the 3rd and maybe even a fishing boat for the 4th. And maybe if I'm lucky I will get the same gifts given in my name in return.
I didn't encourage lists to Santa. Instead I listened when they said they "wanted" something. I made notes and did research. The first step in getting Christmas "un"overloaded was to ONLY buy things they would use. As cute as those ZhuZhu pets are, and as many times as I heard "I want one", I knew it would be played with for 30 minutes and never touched again. Out also went the big shopping trip Chris and I would do that would yield 90% of the gifts in one night. Those tended to be impulse buys and many rarely got touched.
So I got myself a membership to Amazon Prime (honestly one of the best purchases I've made all year!). When the kids would go to bed I would research and shop. They love crafts so 3 got Shrinky Dinks. They love playing outside so all 4 got roller blades. We love playing games so all 5 (including Chris) each got a game. Work boots, color your own unbrellas, mp3 speakers, clothes and many more practical things made their way under our tree. Their stockings were filled with inexpensive "fun" items (like the funny head that grows grass hair...$1 at Michaels) plus stuff that I would have bought anyway (stretchy gloves, hats, toothbrushes).
As I put stuff away after the kids went back to school I realized how successful we were. Only one item hadn't been opened and that was because he needed help with the directions and we thought it would be nice to do on a snow day.
So we are partly "unloaded". Next year we want to focus on the extended family. We got sucked into the $100 grab again this year where we pull a name and spent $100 on that person. Everyone puts together a wish list and sends it out. We always struggle to put things on our wish list. We have always been fortunate enough that if we need something we just go out and buy it so our lists are usually very short and on occassion contain random items just so we have a list. And the lists we get usually aren't all that different. Many are just wish lists for gift cards. Yes, we are free to buy what we want and ignore the list but rarely does that happen.
So I have made a decision.....If I do opt to do the grab next year my wish list will contain things like "vaccines for 10 children", a "flock of chickens", a donation to XYZ charity etc. I think it might be worth the $100 I'd have to spend on a relative just to be able to send out my email that sends a different message than "I want". I may also decide not to participate but will try and find a way to show people that there are so many better options for their $100!
I think that will also be my focus next year with my kids. Moving things away from "them" and turning it to "others". A flock of chickens for one, honey bees for the next, dairy animals for the 3rd and maybe even a fishing boat for the 4th. And maybe if I'm lucky I will get the same gifts given in my name in return.
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